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March 29, 2012 4:13 pm

Calling All Race Baiters: Jump on Board Before it’s Too Late

avatar by Moshe Averick

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The Rev. Al Sharpton has been awarded the NAPRB's highest award of distinction: Master-Baiter

A Public Service Announcement from the NAPRB (National Association for the Perpetuation of Race-Baiting) – Wanted: Aspiring race-baiters to exploit a golden opportunity that may not last long. The recent shooting death of a 6-foot tall, black 17 year old male in Florida (don’t worry, we have cute photos of him from when he was 12), who was under a 10 day suspension from school has presented our race-baiting industry with opportunities that have not been available since Tawana Bradley was raped by the entire all-white Duke Lacrosse team and a black Harvard professor was nearly lynched outside his home by a mob of crazed Rush Limbaugh-fans and was miraculously rescued by the President of the United States, who is himself  a black male that looks like Trayvon Martin’s father (thank goodness the President got his father’s genes or he never could have been our savior). If anyone reading this finds himself quibbling about details then don’t bother applying, you’ll never have any success in our industry.

One of the consistent top performers among race-baiters, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, has already offered prayers of thanksgiving that the shooter of Trayvon Martin was a Hispanic male who doesn’t look too Hispanic, has a Jewish surname (hint: same as Bob Dylan’s real name), and most important of all, doesn’t have dark skin at all. Thank GD! Because if it had been another young black male who had killed Trayvon, that would be just another among the endless litany of black on black murders that take place all the time. After all, do you any of you really think that the news media wants to hear that according to FBI statistics, 91% of the 2867 blacks murdered in 2009, were murdered by other black men? BOOOOOOOOOORING! (Listen to me Bubbie, this is about RACISM, not the truth. If we talked about statistics like that we’d also have to start talking about the number of black children born out of wedlock and raised with no father. Even worse, we might have to actually start doing something about it instead of just handing out free condoms.)

More good news: It also turns out that the shooter was arrested on a minor charge seven years ago and there is a mug shot that has been plastered all over the internet. We also caught a lucky break that do-nothing publicity hound (a great compliment in our business) Jesse Jackson managed to stop himself from blurting out that Florida is a “hymie-state.”  OUR CUP RUNNETH OVER!! But it gets better and better….Kids, you are not going to believe this but in a stroke of marketing genius, TRAYVON MARTIN is now a registered trademark! If you get in early on licensing, not only can you get your face on the evening news looking appropriately mournful and indignant, there are bucks to be made! Can you imagine what would have been if someone had thought of making TAWANA BRADLEY a registered trademark?  We keep telling you all time: Think Outside the Box!

Yes, young race-baiters, I want you to picture yourselves achieving the same dizzying heights of shamelessness and phony self-righteousness as race baiting legends like Al Sharpton, the Black Panthers, and Sheila Jackson Lee. Don’t you guys understand, we can’t lose. If the legal system finds no evidence that Zimmerman was a racist and really acted in self-defense, so what, we’ll simply spin the findings as transparent racial bias in these here US of KKKA, and if he’s guilty….OMG, the sky’s the limit!!

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  • Chezkel

    Um, you probably mean Tawana BraWly.

    • salvage

      No, Mushe has faith that it’s spelled the other way.

  • Congrats on the well written satire, Moshe.

    As for those who obviously haven’t bothered to listen to the recording of the first 911 call, or to find out that nearly 20 crimes had occurred in Mr. Zimmermans neighborhood in the last year, in at least 3 of which he had played a pivotal role in seeing the perpetrators arrested, or to find out that MSNBC did some truly egregious and sensationalistic “editing” of both the video and the call before publishing, I suggest you stop trusting the msm and start learning to do your own research.

  • Roy Bailey

    From reading the comments, it is obvious that satire will never be appreciated by all people. For me this was a great opinion piece that I will happily forward to my friends, especially those who find the race baiting as offensive as I do.

    • moshe averick


      I appreciate your comments, it seems so many people missed the whole point of the article.

      • salvage

        Ha! Ha! The last refuge of a true hack; it’s not me! It’s you!

        No Mushe, there is no deep subtle point that is being missed, it’s just the shriek of a confused simpleton.

  • John Baird

    What on earth would possess a man to write such an asinine op-ed?
    An innocent man has been murdered in cold blood and you’re writing a sarcastic comedy piece about people who may be using the murder as grist for their mill.
    This is the dumbest most inappropriate thing I’ve ever read. The subject matter does not call for a humourous approach. It relates to events surrounding a tragic killing of a young boy.

    Would you take the same approach to Abe Foxman complaining about the murder of a young Jew? How would you feel about a non Jew who did?

    As someone above said: ”Wow Mushe, there just isn’t a subject that you can’t make a complete jackass out of yourself on.”
    A complete and utter jackass. The mother of all jackasses.

    • Moshe Averick

      John Baird,

      First of all I know that a 17 year old boy was shot, I don’t know if he was innocent or not. That seems to be a matter of dispute and I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion. The article of course was not about the shooting at all. You are correct, it is a piece of satire on how many people are using the death of this boy for self aggrandizement. In the case of Al Sharpton his shameless self promotion has had dangerous results in the past.

      If I thought ABe Foxman was using the death of a Jew to promote himself I would slam him also. From the little I know right now the claim that this killing had a racial component is absurd, disgusting and self-serving nonsense. Black males in this country do not have to worry about being murdered by white vigilantes, Black males have to be worried about being murdered by other black males. Bull Connor died many years ago. It’s time to move on.

      • I’m sure there is no guarantee on this, but the odds certainly favor the assumption that if Sharpton and Obama are on one side of a controvery, then the right is almost certainly on the other side.

        ——“Black males in this country do not have to worry about being murdered by white vigilantes, Black males have to be worried about being murdered by other black males.”——

        The statistics clearly back Moshe on this particular issue — even though he is dead wrong about theism.

      • salvage

        >ot, I don’t know if he was innocent or not.





        Ah but yes, he was Black, I guess in your mind that MUST make him guilty of SOMETHING!

        Can we add racism to your endless parade of foolishness? You’ve made your misogyny clear so probably yes.

        Perhaps it’s because Zimmerman is a liar that you feel sympathy for him? You do that yourself enough.

        Zim’s latest lie is that the kid was reaching for his gun.

        While Martin was punching him in the nose.

        While Martin was slamming his head against the sidewalk.

        While they were on the grass which I guess in Florida grows on sidewalks.

        And not a single drop of blood on Zim’s head, face or clothes.

        Stupid lies easily contradicted with physical evidence, no wonder you believe him Mushe.

  • Is Moshe now playing the “race card” to divert attention from his illogic on the subject of theism?

  • salvage

    >If the legal system finds no evidence that Zimmerman was a racist and really acted in self-defense

    Yes Mushe, he was defending himself when he stalked the unarmed half his size kid from a car armed with a gun after calling 9-11.

    It’s a miracle he made it out alive!

    I think I’m getting your shtick now, you want to be Ann Coulter, you have fantasies of being that “big” in the right wingnut publishing biz. This is you trying to out-Fox News her!

    • Salavage,

      The truth is Salvage, no one really knows what happened, and you seemed to have missed the entire point of the article.

      • salvage

        You mean outside the established facts I list above? Here are some other ones, Zim had anger issues so much so he needed to take classes to manage them, he also called 911 46 different times since 2004 most of the calls were concerning suspicious balck teenagers.

        Oh and his story keeps on evolving and the latest version doesnt make much sense in the light of the video of him at the police station makes it pretty clear if he was in a fight it wasn’t a serious one. There was not blood on his shirt or head and the cops that took him in were not wearing the plastic gloves they’d wear when dealing with a bleeding person.

        Oh and the cop on the scene wanted a manslaughter charge but was overruled probably because under Florida law it’s now legal to shoot people as long as you say they scared you and they don’t want to set a precedent.

        This is what’s going on, liberals have taken up this case because it’s a mix of civil rights, racism and insane gun laws, you hate liberals so they MUST be wrong so you have taken the diametrically opposite position. To do so you must ignore facts and the fact is that a armed man stalked and shot ab unarmed child for no reason that makes any sense, certainly not self defense.


        • Edward H

          I cant believe I’m saying this but for once I’m going to have to side with Salvage.
          This article could have been an objective view of the racial tensions that have come to light due to the shooting but rather it went on to criticize those who are on the other side of the divide than you, Moshe.
          The fact of the matter is that if Martin was white, then Zimmerman would not have thought to follow him and ultimately initiate the confrontation.
          Martin was shot Center of Mass. That is a shot with the full intention of killing. If Zimmerman did not want to kill Martin then he could have A: Fired a Warning Shot or B: Aimed below the Waist.

          • Moshe Averick


            Like everyone else, you have no idea what really happened. The article is not about the shooting. It is about the fact that low-life publicity hounds like Al Sharpton are explointing this young man’s death for their own self-glorification. None of them really give a damn about what is happening in the inner-city black community, which is in shambles. There are only a handful of white on black murders every year, and only a miniscule amount have any connection with race. Black men essentially have nothing to fear from white people, they need to be afraid of black murderers.

          • salvage

            Mushe we do know what happened, he saw a Black kid, called the cops, stalked him, started a fight and then shot him. There is no self-defense when you go after someone.

            Too bad a tribe of Bronze Age desert savages didn’t write it down some 6,000 years ago, then maybe you’d believe it.

        • John

          I think the problem is that it’s just one more crime, but because everyone sees it as a jumping on point, they’re going to try to use this as a fulcrum to gain whatever it is they’re looking for.

          No one says anything about all the black on black crime, and all the racist terminology that blacks throw around indiscriminately, but you get a pale-skinned Latino guy killing someone in the news, and boom: gold!

          Here’s my point: Fine. Zimmerman is a murdering thug, and he deserves the waterboarding electric chair gas chamber death penalty.

          Now what? Is the race-baiting gun still cocked and loaded? Is it upgraded to a bigger gun? Do we make sure that every time someone with paler skin kills someone with darker skin that it’s punished more severely than when two people with even skin tone kill one another?

          Do we make it a lesser punishment when a person with darker skin kills one with lighter skin?

          This entire media circus is not merely about one loose cannon. Are there a lot of people who have decided to care what happens? Yes.

          Meanwhile, 3,327 white people were murdered by 2,777 white people in 2010.

          2,720 black people were murdered by 2,459 black people.

          No one is winning.

        • pam siegfried

          Link to hi-def video where you can see a scratch on back of Zimmerman’s head. My working hypothesis is Z started the fight. The Stand your Ground law has nothing to do with guns. It says you may stand your ground. It does not say- or ought not to say- that you may pick a fight and then kill the person you attacked whe they are getting the better of you. In some cases (Sharpton) they looked at Trayvon (black) and Zimmerman (white, originally) and that’s all they needed. Just as the rabbi sees “atheist” and stops right there. The most egregious example of race baiting I saw was one by Leonard Pitts arguing Z was white because he wasn’t arrested. He had privileges. So OJ was white once, the President is really white, the New Black Panther head is white since he can put a bounty on someone’s life and not be immediately arrested, and Sarah Palin is as black as the Ace of Spades.

          • Moshe Averick


            What you posted illustrates how this whole thing is nothing but a circus. It has nothing to do with race, whatever the facts are that is clear.

        • Randy

          Salvage: When did this nation of laws began prosecuting people in mainstream media? If you got into trouble, would you really like to be tried on CNN, MSNBC, New York Times etc? Would you get a fair trial, judged by your peers, and a just judgment?

          Moshe is correct in saying that we do not know all the facts – only what keeps getting blared out on the mainstream media outlets. Everyone needs to step back and let the law enforcement officials do the job we are paying them to do. Rushing to judgment is what used to get people lynched – I do not think we should go back to that approach.

          • salvage

            >. Everyone needs to step back and let the law enforcement officials do the job we are paying

            Yeah, that’s the problem, they didn’t arrest Zim, there is no “job” for them to do.

            See that’s the part people some seem to have trouble understanding, he shot and killed an unarmed kid after stalking him because he was walking wearing a hoody in the rain.

            Now let’s say Martin was a blond haired blue eyed White boy, how would have it gone down?

            That’s for anyone who says that race isn’t a factor.

  • salvage

    Wow Mushe, there just isn’t a subject that you can’t make a complete jackass out of yourself on.

    • Salvage,

      And you keep reading and reading and……..

      • salvage

        Sure, clowns are amusing.

        • Moshe Averick

          I agree 100%, thanks for posting on my articles.

          • salvage

            Oh ho ho! I see what you did there! You witty scamp!