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April 8, 2014 1:59 pm

Israel to Change Name of Jerusalem to… (SATIRE)

avatar by Gidon Ben-zvi

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A view of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. Photo: Berthold Werner.

Recently, the U.S. Court of Appeals invalidated a law that allowed American citizens born in Jerusalem – a population numbering approximately 50,000 – to list Israel as their home country on their passports. In response, the Israeli government is seeking to deflate the negative connotations long associated with its capital city by submitting a referendum to the citizens of Israel that will decide on a new name and motto for the current ‘Jerusalem.’

Approximately 5.6 million eligible Israeli voters will have the following options to choose from:

J-Town: Where the Streets Have Three Names

J-Pad: Birthplace of the Brick

Special J: Go on a Journey, Stay for the Trip

J-Spot: Proud Sponsor of Western Civilization Since Year 0.

J-Nizzle: A Former Mayor Became Prime Minister…And Was Then Convicted of Bribery

J-Crib: Historic Site of Beauty & The Geek, Season 4

J’s Place: Hummus Wishes and Shawarma Dreams

J-Spread: Where Bar Refaeli Would Stay if Her Car Broke Down

J-Crew: GMT + 2

J-Mile: Livin’ On a Prayer


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