Israel to Change Name of Jerusalem to… (SATIRE)
by Gidon Ben-Zvi
Recently, the U.S. Court of Appeals invalidated a law that allowed American citizens born in Jerusalem – a population numbering approximately 50,000 – to list Israel as their home country on their passports. In response, the Israeli government is seeking to deflate the negative connotations long associated with its capital city by submitting a referendum to the citizens of Israel that will decide on a new name and motto for the current ‘Jerusalem.’
Approximately 5.6 million eligible Israeli voters will have the following options to choose from:
J-Town: Where the Streets Have Three Names
J-Pad: Birthplace of the Brick
Special J: Go on a Journey, Stay for the Trip
J-Spot: Proud Sponsor of Western Civilization Since Year 0.
J-Nizzle: A Former Mayor Became Prime Minister…And Was Then Convicted of Bribery
J-Crib: Historic Site of Beauty & The Geek, Season 4
J’s Place: Hummus Wishes and Shawarma Dreams
J-Spread: Where Bar Refaeli Would Stay if Her Car Broke Down
J-Crew: GMT + 2
J-Mile: Livin’ On a Prayer