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May 4, 2014 12:52 pm

British Satirist Nimron Kamer Introduces the London ‘Jewpster’

avatar by Joshua Levitt

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"Jewpster," Nimrod Kamer. Photo: NK / Zoë Jenkin.

"Jewpster," Nimrod Kamer. Photo: NK / Zoë Jenkin.

British Jew, satirist and television personality Nimron Kamer has come up with new terms to describe London’s post-hipster hipsters, including those who are Jewish, which he’s now dubbed “Jewpsters.”

In a column in The London Evening Standard at the weekend, Kamer wrote, “Hipsterism is a subculture of men and women typically in their twenties and thirties who value independent thinking, counter-culture, granny pants, fetishism of the authentic, chopping wood, etc. Unfortunately it is over and passé — so done that the mere mentioning of hipster makes every hipster quiver with disdain.”

He came up with “Nipster,” or Nouveau hipster, a “hipster version of the nouveau riche,” as well as “Ukipster,” those whose opinions are made to spite the counter-culture move – “For chic reasons alone, Ukipsters live in east London among Turks and Muslims, and say they’d love to see Britain leave the EU as a fashion statement,” Kamer wrote.

He also wrote about #MIPSTERZ, a Twitter hashtag for “Muslim hipsters,” which he said was already “well established since a few Muslim girls led by Layla Shaikley uploaded a video of themselves skating around while wearing funky hijabs, tagged #Mipsterz.”

But he left his most colorful prose for describing himself, a “Jewpster:”

Jewish hipster. Could’ve been called Jipsters but that has connotations of  gypsies and the yolocaust. Typical Jewpsters are into bark mitzvahs, a bar mitzvah-style ceremony for their dogs. Also they pretend not to know Israel or the Middle East exist, to see how others react. They would claim to be Jew-ish (halfway-ish Jews) and semi-semitic.

You say potato, the Jewpster says fifty shades of kosher. All Jewpsters are circumcised and even jewpster ladies can walk around without foreskins. They apply jew diligence everywhere.

As a known Jewpster, me (29) and my family eat Pakistani food with a bitter note of self-acrimony in Whitechapel and visit the Waspchapel Gallery with fellow Waspters.

Jewpsters love hi-vis jackets with rundown Star of David signs printed on them. They always complain though for the lack of Star of Davids on their phones’ emoji keyboards, even though their version of the star has an extra triangle in it for lolz.

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