An anti-Israel billboard.

What I’m really trying to understand are those insane Irish people. I mean what’s wrong with just simply being part of England. England is a great country, they have the whole royalty and pageantry stuff down pat, and they all basically speak the same language. So what’s the problem? I guess it’s just those radical Irishists.

And while I’m on the subject, what’s up with Portugal? After all, Portugal was originally part of Spain, and Portugal and Spain are on the same bit of land, and they’re all Catholic. Can someone please tell those crazy Portagees to knock it off and just let the Spanish take control.

I just remembered about Finland and Norway, what is happening with those wacky SOBs. You mean being part of Sweden wasn’t good enough for them? They’re all on the same chunk of territory and everyone knows that there’s no difference between a Fin, a Swede, and a Norwegian. So why did they feel they needed national homelands for three different groups of the same people?

Speaking of same people, c’mon why does the world really need a separate Yemen, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Oman, and Qatar? They’re all Muslim, they all rely on oil for revenue, and they live in the desert. How could anyone but insane Desertists want to separate themselves from one another?

Then there’s Bangladesh. What, they couldn’t be happy just being East Pakistan, they had to break off from regular Pakistan and form their own country with their own national goals. Isn’t it enough that the Indian Muslims were able to split from India’s Hindus? Did they really need two separate Muslim countries?

Don’t even get me started on North Carolina and South Carolina, why not just one big Carolina. The people look the same, speak the same, and they’re both part of the same U.S. It’s ridiculous.

Speaking of ridiculous, how about North and South Dakota? The two states together hardly have enough population to make one decent other state. Can the North Dakotians really not get along with the South Dakotians? Does one group of Dakotians have worse breath than the other?

What’s going on? Why can’t people just all get along?

Oh, hey, here’s some bigger questions: Why aren’t the Irish vilified throughout the world for wanting their own country? Why are the Finlandists not vilified for wanting to be separate from Sweden and Norway? You never hear North Dakota being called an apartheid state. Why not? Don’t you know that at the North Dakota state capitol that they refuse to fly the South Dakota flag? What kind of sadistic neighbors are those North Dakotians?

Then there are those who try to claim that being against the existence of a Jewish nation has nothing to do with being anti-Semitic.