A man blowing shofar on Rosh Hashanah. Photo: Wikimedia Commons.

Being 32 and single, I recently found myself feeling like a failure. But then I realized that I had to define “success” on my own terms.

So, while I would like to get married, I asked myself what failure and success means to me in the meantime. I quickly realized that so much of how I saw myself was based on societal expectations. And I suspect many other people can relate.

Therefore, this New Year, I decided to re-evaluate the goals that I set for myself on Rosh Hashanah. Here’s a guide to help you do the same:

1. Define success for yourself. Literally, write it down in a quiet room with out anyone around.

2. Let go of expectations. Stop letting your dreams be defined outward-in. Let your soul, the deepest part of who you are, do the talking.

3. Discover your secret goals. Take a moment to run wild with your stream of consciousness. For me, that’s running the NYC marathon.

4. Find a coach or mentor to keep your head in the game. Find someone who supports and encourages you, and allows you to be fully honest.

5. Let your resolutions be so compelling that they drive you out of bed; that you’re willing to get less sleep and put in the extra effort because, you want to.

6. Start where you are, and begin from there. I know my goals have been achieved by others with greater ease. Refuse to compare. Keep your eyes straight ahead.

6. Fall sseven or 17 times, but always get up.