Somebody PLEASE Supply Michelle Goldberg with Free Contraceptives
On March 13, 2012 I posted a column on this site, that among other things decried the notion that US taxpayers should be forced to subsidize the sex lives of female citizens by paying for their contraceptives. I have changed my mind. It has now become clear that it is in our national interest to do everything in our power to ensure that certain women never become mothers. One of these women is Newsweek/Daily Beast contributor Michelle Goldberg.
In a recent MSNBC interview Ms. Goldberg, while belching out standard radical-feminist talking points, launched a vicious attack on Ann Romney. What was Ann Romney’s horrible sin? Very simple, she praised a noble human institution called “motherhood!” Here is what Ann Romney had to say in a USA Today piece:
Cherish your mothers. The ones who wiped your tears, who were at every ball game or ballet recital. The ones who believed in you, even when nobody else did, even when maybe you didn’t believe in yourself. Women wear many hats in their lives. Daughter, sister, student, breadwinner. But no matter where we are or what we’re doing, one hat that moms never take off is the crown of motherhood. There is no crown more glorious.
Can you imagine the nerve of Ms. Romney?! I’m surprised that in protest to such inflammatory remarks the Earth itself didn’t simply cease spinning on its axis. The stars in the Milky Way galaxy should have blinked out in disgust! But ye lovers of truth and justice take heart; even though heaven and Earth meekly refused to react, journalist Michelle Goldberg courageously took up the cudgel and struck back with the following:
You know, yes, motherhood is beautiful, I found that phrase ‘the crown of motherhood’ really kind of creepy, not just because of its, like, somewhat you know, I mean, it’s kind of usually really authoritarian societies that give out like The Cross of Motherhood, that give awards for big families. You know, Stalin did it, Hitler did it.”
The fact that Goldberg could actually speak the names of Stalin and Hitler in the same breath as Ann Romney’s praise of motherhood offers us a clear window into her own twisted and diseased soul. Michelle Goldberg should never be allowed to be a mother; she would probably raise little monsters. I am therefore starting a “Contraceptives for Michelle Goldberg” fund to make sure that if she doesn’t have children already, she never will, and if she already does, that she will never have any more. Please mail in checks made out to “Contraceptives for Michelle” to Newsweek, The Daily Beast, and MSNBC. Unfortunately these contributions are not tax-deductible, but hey…for a good cause we should all be prepared to sacrifice.
Rabbi Moshe Averick is an orthodox rabbi, a regular columnist for the Algemeiner Journal, and author of Nonsense of a High Order: The Confused and Illusory World of the Atheist. It is available on Amazon.com and Kindle. Rabbi Averick can be reached via his website. If you wish to be informed when new articles appear, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the email address and the word “Subscribe” in the subject line.