After Britain Appeals for Weirdos, Spoon Bender Uri Geller Applies
Spoon-bending celebrity psychic Uri Geller, 73, has applied for a job in the British government in response to an advert for “misfits” and “weirdos,” saying no other candidate would possess his powers.
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s most senior adviser, Dominic Cummings, advertised government jobs for “assorted weirdos” in a recent blog post, complaining that the civil service did not have enough genuine cognitive diversity.
In a cover letter beginning “Dear Dom,” Geller said that his career as an entertainer has been the “perfect mask” for his work in espionage.
“While many have doubted my abilities, my achievements cannot be dismissed as trickery or illusions,” said the Israeli, who became famous in the 1970s for performing telekinetic feats on television, such as bending spoons without touching them.
“In my intelligence work I assisted with Operation Desert Storm, helped to locate secret tunnels in North Korea, and used my skills to erase crucial diplomatic discs on their way to Moscow,” he said.
Geller recently said he had used his powers to help Johnson win last month’s election by giving his aides a spoon enthused with positive energy.
“Perhaps you could have used my abilities in your dealings with Michel Barnier,” he added in his letter, referring to Brexit negotiations with the European Union.
However, Cummings and Johnson might not be impressed with Geller’s previous Brexit involvement, after he called upon Britons in March 2019 to stop the process altogether by twice-daily bursts of mass-telepathy.
Asked by Reuters whether he thought his paranormal powers would give him an unfair advantage over other candidates, he said: “Yes, absolutely.”
“I don’t think any of the other people who filled out the form have any psychic powers, but I’m not 100 percent sure,” he said.